The Japs Show
by Japs
Summary: The Sequel to 'The Weakest Link'. Just as fun and user friendly!


The Japs Show Story by Japs  
  
Yet another day in the Galaxy's Central Park. The sun was shining brightly, everything was happy and the smell of freshly cut grass wafted in the air. Note that I said everything. NOT everyone!  
  
"I need money… need money…"  
  
Yet again Japs was trying to get something he wanted. Sure, there were other things he wanted. Like a pet Mr. Popo and his very own intelligent robot.  
  
"KII!"  
  
Kanaka was Japs' robot. Sure, it's kind of what Japs wanted, but he did want intelligent. Kanaka wasn't realy that smart, but the smartest of who was in that room. Japs was pacing up and down his room. Kanaka, his "loyal" sidekick tried to mimic his pace, but only falling behind. Japs got tired of walking around and fell down onto his bed. He turned on the TV and sighed.  
  
"Man!" Japs shouted at the TV. Kanaka crawled up his bed, thinking Japs meant him. "Those stupid TV stars have al the money they need! I just ne-"  
  
Japs paused. He had just figured out how to get all the money he needed. He only had to get some staff…  
  
Down at the park Mario, Link and Donkey Kong had bought some shakes from a store. A Slowbro who was looking for business ran the store. Despite the long time it took to get your order, he made the best chocolate shakes around. They all sat on a bench near a fountain. Yoshi came down the path looking especially pleased with himself.  
  
"Ah! Yoshi! What's up-a with the green man?" Mario called over to Yoshi.  
  
"I just bought a whole bunch of bubble gum! It was on offer down at the Dark Comet Hypermart."  
  
Yoshi was actually chewing some as he spoke. He sat down with the gang and offered them all some.  
  
"You…uh…you got… banana flavour?" Donkey Kong asked. Yoshi handed him some.  
  
"Nothing beats strawberry!" Mario said, smiling.  
  
"Got any cola?" Link asked. Yoshi happily handed out the gum.  
  
Japs and his chrome-plated crony came running down the path. Donkey Kong and Yoshi didn't seem too happy.  
  
"Hello my friends! What a marvellous day we are all enjoying! I trust you're all well!" Japs shouted. Yoshi glared at him.  
  
"What are you so happy about, quiz-master?"  
  
"Oh, nothing, my green scaled friend!"  
  
"What you hyped up about?" Link asked  
  
"Link! Link-Link-Link-Link!" Said Japs, putting his arm around the tunic- baring teen's shoulder. "Why must you think I want something if I want to act happy once in a while?"  
  
"I never said you wanted anything." Link said, puzzled by Japs' behaviour.  
  
"And I never said I did either, so let's get along with each other for once, ok? Because were all friends here."  
  
"Sounds to me like he does want something" came a voice behind Japs. Japs turned round  
  
"Nekoni!" Japs shouted with fake delight. "Goku! Banjo! Oh! And Kazooie too!"  
  
. Goku, Banjo and Kazooie were waking down the same path following Nekoni. None of Nekoni's group fell for Japs' trick.  
  
"I smell one of Japs' money making schemes!" Nekoni said, angrily.  
  
"I smell Japs." Link said, holding his nose. Yoshi laughed  
  
"Japs, you are the strongest stink, Goodbye!"  
  
Japs glared and stormed off, Kanaka following. Just as he was about to walk down the hill, he turned round and shouted to the gang.  
  
"I WAS GOING TO LET YOU BE ON MY TV SHOW!"  
  
Everyone was at Japs' studios again. They suddenly decided that Japs wasn't that bad. Neither was being on TV.  
  
"I was born to be on TV" Nekoni said. She pirouetted at the thought. Yoshi and Donkey Kong just stared at what she was doing.  
  
"I think she's been in the heat for too long." Yoshi said.  
  
"I think…I want…Banana…" Donkey Kong said dully.  
  
"Ah! I see you've been practising English, Donkey Kong!" Nekoni Said, stressing her words. She wasn't very pleased with the duo's attitude.  
  
"Uh…yeah…me learn…from…a booooook." DK said, thinking of the words as he talked.  
  
"Strange, Yoshi, I didn't expect you to hang out with people that had more IQ than you."  
  
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"  
  
"I…would be pleased…if you would…give…me a…banana…"  
  
"Shove off jerk! You have about as much brains as a peanut!"  
  
"I DO NOT!"  
  
"I would…love a banana… because… I love bananas…I do"  
  
"Shut up Mr. I'm-a-hero-because-I-saved-Mario-as-a-child!"  
  
"Banana's…don't give me gas…because…they are…a fruit…"  
  
"YOU SHUT UP MRS. I-ONLY-FIND-SAIYANS-ATTRACTIVE-BECAUSE-OF-THE-TASTE-OF- THEIR-TAIL"  
  
"If I didn't… eat banana's… I…would have… no…banana's to eat…"  
  
Both Yoshi and Nekoni turned to DK  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Places people!"  
  
Japs walked in looking very happy. He had several robotic goons setting up the stage for him. It looked like a hospital. Lakitu's were positioning where they would film.  
  
"Have all the actors in this scene learnt their lines?" Japs asked.  
  
Yoshi, Mario, Kirby (Kirby owed Japs a favour and was more than happy to act in his show), Link and Nekoni all walked onto the stage, Kirby went in the bed and the rest went behind the door on set.  
  
"Lights!" Japs shouted. The lights fell on the stage to make it look like the room was in midday.  
  
"Camera!" Japs bellowed. A Lakitu put his thumb up.  
  
"ACTION!"  
  
"Duh… Banana… take one… scene one…" DK said, snapping the clappers and sulking off.  
  
"Why the monkey" Japs moaned.  
  
Kirby sat up in bed and gave the most unconvincing choke. Mario walked in wearing a doctor's uniform.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Kirby. You only-a have two weeks to live."  
  
"But…But Dr. Mario… I have to see my wife…"  
  
Silence followed. Japs looked inpatient.  
  
"LINK" Japs said, in a loud whisper. Still nothing.  
  
Donkey Kong walked round the back.  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Ssshhh!"  
  
Donkey Kong had found link. Nekoni had told him to shut up. Link was pushed through the door on the stage.  
  
"I guess he meant me, then…" Link said.  
  
Link looked off stage. Japs was turning his hand round, trying to get him to carry on with the scene. Link didn't get this, of course.  
  
"Turn… Twist… what Japs?" Link said, perfectly clear and loud.  
  
Japs slapped his hand onto his face. It would be more successful to get Goku on a diet. Link didn't know the first thing about acting. Mario whispered to Link.  
  
"Oh!" Link shouted. "I'M MENT TO SAY MY LINES!"  
  
Japs groaned. Link cleared his throat.  
  
"Mr. Kirby I have to tell you something I am your sonr."  
  
Link said his lines flat and dull  
  
"Oh! My son!" Kirby shouted, throwing himself at Link. "My son I have found you! …At last!"  
  
"Mr. Kirby! Your-a better!" Mario shouted.  
  
"Oh my goodness! I guess I am!" Kirby replied  
  
Silence again. Japs mouthed to Link  
  
"My line? –Oh yes! Father!" Link said dramatically  
  
"Son!" Kirby said, jumping to embrace Link. Link had ducked, though.  
  
"Ooh! A penny!"  
  
Kirby flew into the set. The wall fell down. Nekoni walked into the door dressed in a nurse's uniform. She had the sense to carry on, despite of Link nearly killing Kirby.  
  
"Mr. Kirby" she said, helping Kirby up. "I have to tell you something! Your wife just had a baby!"  
  
"She did?" Kirby said, his voice slightly dazed. He fell to the ground.  
  
"Great job!" Japs whispered to Banjo and Kazooie, his stage manager and scriptwriter. "When did you put it in the script to make him faint?"  
  
"J'uh… I didn't…" Banjo said.  
  
Kirby was realy knocked out.  
  
"Uh…" Nekoni whined. She couldn't carry on without Kirby to say his next lines. "What was that Mr. Kirby? Oh! You wife had a beautiful girl!"  
  
Kirby sat up, eyes swirling. Stars flew around his head.  
  
"Look at the pretty stars! –Ooff!" He mumbled. Nekoni pushed him down to the floor again.  
  
Goku walked up to Japs off stage. He was acting as lighting operator.  
  
"Uh…Japs… One of the lights might fall down…"  
  
Japs looked round at Goku.  
  
"Well…" He said, fury spreading around his body. "Why don't you go and fix it?"  
  
"Ok…" Goku said. He walked away. Japs sighed.  
  
"Here is-a your wife now, Mr. Kirby!" Mario said, looking at the door.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Is it my line?" Link asked.  
  
"SSHH!" Nekoni hushed him.  
  
"I SAID HERE IS-A YOUR WIFE NOW, MR KIRBY!"  
  
The stage door opened. There stood Yoshi, wearing a pink floral dress and a blonde wig. He held a dummy baby. As Yoshi walked in he mouthed 'Your Dead' to Japs, who laughed.  
  
"Kirby, darling." Yoshi said through gritted teeth. "You look so much better. How do you feel, pet?"  
  
"The birdies…the birdies…"  
  
"Mr. Kirby said he feels ok, Mrs. Yoshi." Nekoni said, interrupting Kirby.  
  
"So he's not dead?" asked Yoshi, who wasn't following the script.  
  
"Uh…no" Nekoni said, confused.  
  
"I know someone who will be." Yoshi laughed. "KANAKA OPERATE!"  
  
"NO!" Japs shouted, but it was too late. Kanaka was operational again. It ran onto the set and knocked down the back wall, the one with the door.  
  
There was a creaking. Japs looked up. Goku was hanging off one of the lights. Everyone moved back.  
  
"Uh-oh"  
  
The light fell down and a sudden darkness followed the sparks that flew all over the room. The whole set caught fire.  
  
"EVACUATE!"  
  
Everyone ran out of Japs Studios. Kirby and Goku were both carried by Donkey Kong. Mario hitched a ride on Yoshi, who was still in that rather fetching dress. Japs helped Nekoni out while Banjo, Kazooie and Link all staggered out together. The sky was a bright red from the flames from the inferno.  
  
Two weeks later Japs was sitting outside his house. He was writing down things on a piece of paper. Nekoni ran up to him.  
  
"Not now please Nekoni…"  
  
"Japs, you have to hear this!"  
  
"I said not NOW!"  
  
Nekoni was never the girl to stand down to any comment, especially not from Japs.  
  
"YOU LISTEN TO ME NOW, YOU JERK!"  
  
"AAAHH!"  
  
Japs was never the guy to stand up to any girls, especially not Nekoni.  
  
"Well…since you want me to tell you that much…Mario got a professional job in film!"  
  
"He what?"  
  
"Yeah, a new film. 'Honey I made the kids Italian'. It's meant to be a hit!"  
  
Japs groaned.  
  
"Donkey Kong got a job as a bodyguard."  
  
Japs groaned again.  
  
"Yoshi got an award for the most convincing Trans-dress."  
  
Japs groaned louder.  
  
"And Link got a professional job as a stand up comic."  
  
Japs hid his head in his hands.  
  
"Don't worry, you got an award."  
  
"I did?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Japs looked up at Nekoni. She smiled.  
  
"So…what's my award?" Japs asked.  
  
"Come inside." Nekoni laughed, grabbing Japs' wrist and pulled him into his own house. Everyone who was involved in the filming was there.  
  
"Put the TV on!" Nekoni said. Japs did so.  
  
"Cannel three!" Link shouted. Japs turned the channel over.  
  
"AANNDD NOW ITS TIME FOR THE NATIONAL TV SHOW AWARDS!" The guy on TV shouted.  
  
Japs looked like he was going to cry with happiness. "You…you entered me?"  
  
"Of course! We thought it was a great show!"  
  
The TV guy went on.  
  
"AND FOR BEST COMADY AWARD, IT'S 'HOSPITAL OF DOOM' BY JAPS AND CO! THEY GET 1,000,000 GOLD PIECES!"  
  
Everyone in the room cheered. Nekoni hugged Japs, who didn't do anything to accept it. Everyone was jumping and laughing but Nekoni noticed there was something wrong with Japs.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked.  
  
Japs looked up at her.  
  
"It was meant to be a Soap Opera." 


End file.
